What New York has taught me.

My 5 year anniversary in New York City is just around the corner. I was born in Oklahoma and raised in Texas. I do not consider myself to be a true New Yorker, but I do feel better adapted to this environment. Here is a shortlist of all things that I have learned.

Be wary of subway service changes on the weekend. The MTA likes to do maintenance work on some subway lines during those times, so you may need to figure out a Plan B to get to your Point B.
The best way to learn about a neighborhood is to read neighborhood blogs.
If you hate crowds, avoid walking through Times Square, Herald Square, Chinatown, Grand Central Station, and sometimes – your own block.
If you are lost, be sure to ask more than one person for directions.
Do not give eye contact to the guy talking to himself while you wait on the subway platform. For that matter, do not engage the guy fondling himself too.
Do not relegate yourself to only Manhattan. Some of the best food in the city can be found in Brooklyn, Queens, and the Bronx.
If a guy on craigslist wants to sell you an iPhone and asks that you meet him in East New York (that’s in Brooklyn for the non-natives) at night, don’t go.
Don’t always go to Central Park. Prospect Park is just as great.
Be sure to check the expiration dates on all food items that you buy at bodegas.
If you are sitting on a train and you suspect that the woman you are sitting next to is a man, he/she probably is.
Always keep hand sanitizer on you.
If the homeless man asks if you can give him some money for food; yet, he refuses your offer to buy something at the local store. He was probably going to buy booze anyway.
If you thought you heard firecrackers in the middle of the night, they probably were gunshots.
Find your local Farmer’s market. They’re great.
If you arrive home from the airport and decide to take the subway home, you might be accosted by random guy asking to help carry your luggage for you for a dollar as you exit the subway. It is probably in your best interest not to do so.
Do not buy deli meats from your corner bodega. In most cases, those meats aren’t fresh, but the owners will probably feed it to the bodega cat anyway.
If you ever have to get to NJ by bus via the Port Authority, avoid going there in the middle of the night. The freaks come out at night.
Eat at Grimaldi’s once in your life.
If someone persists in asking you for spare change, just say you are living off your credit cards.
If you can, live very close to a park or subway.
New Yorkers can be very flaky when it comes to plans, so do not be easily offended.
If you happen to go to a new restaurant, carry cash on you just in case. Some places do not accept credit cards.
If you happen to be on a subway car with a bunch of rowdy kids (in the middle of the night), move to the next car for your own safety.